the buzz log
An Old Man's Ramblings, by Grumpy Grandpa
By Mike Krumboltz
Mon, June 12, 2006, 10:58 am PDT
The life of a grandpa isn't all suspenders and applesauce. This morning, while perusing my large-print newspaper, I stumbled upon a story about "intermittent explosive disorder." Apparently, there are people (like yours truly) who have a tendency to fly off the handle in certain situations (like in bad traffic or during "love-ins"). Now, as soon as I read that, I felt the rage begin to grow. It's like they're saying something's wrong with me. Well, fiddlesticks to that! My grumpiness is always justified, and I've listed five popular but irritating Search terms to prove it. Go ahead, I dare you to disagree with me...
- Barbra Streisand (+432%)—Oh, make her stop. This broad might be able to sing, but news that her tour is coming to my town is making my bowels act up.
- Viral Videos (+397%)—I've spent my entire life avoiding viruses, and now people are searching for them on video? You folks are sick, sick, sick.
- Census Bureau (+297%)—What a surprise—the government wants to know all about me. Nothing makes my blood boil like a nosy solicitor asking about my income.
- Bottled Water (+263%)—Maybe I'm just a senile old man, but I thought water was free. Did we lose a war when I was napping?
- Estate Tax (+119%)—Uncle Sam wants to dip into my life savings after I kick the bucket. Over my dead body, Sammy! Oh, wait...
Filed under: Music, Transportation, Grumpy Old Man
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what's the buzz?
A subject's buzz score is the percentage of Yahoo! users searching for that subject on a given day, multiplied by a constant to make the number easier to read. Weekly leaders are the subjects with the greatest average buzz score for a given week.
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comments
Posted by agirlinfin2004 | Mon, June 12, 2006, 11:11 am PDT
defense lawyers are smiling everywhere now that road rage is a "disease"...how stupid
Posted by nicecorp@sbcglobal.net | Mon, June 12, 2006, 11:38 am PDT
I am really sad I read this. Remind Grandpa of the saying "if you can't say anything positive, don't say anything"
Posted by joelira1948 | Mon, June 12, 2006, 11:42 am PDT
with regards to streisand touring again.... she is doing this tour to raise much needed money to protect the environment, secure education, and a host of other humanitarian concerns and efforts. why should she stop?
you refer to her as a "broad" who "is making my bowels act up" because "her tour is coming to my town." there is a simple solution.... don't buy a ticket and don't support her causes. i suspect that you have a grudge against streisand and perhaps you don't agree with her politics.
do us all a favor and stay home watching fox news.
Posted by goodfellah_01 | Mon, June 12, 2006, 12:10 pm PDT
If road rage is now really a "disease", the FDA is now the one smiling. Then again, the FDA could call anything from burping to farting a disease in order to take peoples hard earned money.
Posted by colonelkurtzs | Mon, June 12, 2006, 12:27 pm PDT
As far as I am concerned it’s all BS it’s every where how can anyone walk around with their head in the clouds thinking every thing is ok well it’s not and it makes me miserable 365 days a year.
Posted by libssuckgas | Mon, June 12, 2006, 12:30 pm PDT
Kudos Grumpy!! Babs makes my bowels hurt.. I'd hope this ecowhack drip would drop off the planet.. Between her and the Blixie Chick, I say 4 words.. "Shut up and Sing"..
Posted by kayshkorn | Mon, June 12, 2006, 1:04 pm PDT
Grumpy Grandpa sounds like a big publicity pushing hoax to me. They put Babara Streisand first so that you click on her name thereby increasing her "internet marketability" -- I am surprised that Yahoo would stoop as low as this.
The whole thing is a scam and I you won't get me to click on those links.
k
Posted by palindrome_of_consciousness | Mon, June 12, 2006, 1:10 pm PDT
Uhh- This article was written to be sarcastic and tongue-in-cheek humor.
Why must we all be so defensive with everything? talk about rage...man, oh, man.
I think the real reason Road Rage is now called I.E.D. is because the government doesn't like aliterations... and maybe the word, 'rage' was too harsh for those that are liberal minded.
Posted by jrsplawn | Mon, June 12, 2006, 1:53 pm PDT
This road rage isnt caused by anything more(or less) than a bunch of steering wheel holders with a cell phone stuck to their ear proceeding down the road at speeds like a yo-yo with no idea of what the heck they arre doing.Keep It Up Grumpy
Posted by srgtick | Mon, June 12, 2006, 2:21 pm PDT
Just wanted to see if this column really exists. Really, Grumpy Grandpa? Did someone in the meeting get a congratulations for coming up with that? This is absolute [profane]e. But, judging by the comments you're appealing to the LCD of society. Way to go Yahoo.
Time to switch to gmail.
Maybe you can get a job writing for the blue collar comedy tour and then go stake out the border.
Nice misleading bull [profane]e about the estate tax by the way.
Oh and, Palindrome, sarcasm should still have some originality behind it. This is weak arse writing.
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