the buzz log

With the exception of "Directed by Joel Schumacher," no cinematic disclaimer gives movie fans the willies quite like "direct-to-video." And rightfully so. It's a sign the flick you're about to watch couldn't compete against theatrically released films. So, instead, it went straight to Blockbuster in the hopes some chump might rent it. Don't be that chump.

The few searches on "direct to video films" probably come from agents of C-listers trying to find work for their clients. ("Slater, baby, have I got a gig for you!") Queries on actual titles are more prevelant. "Hollow Man 2" (starring, yes, Christian Slater) garners respectable buzz. Ditto "Dukes of Hazzard: The Beginning," thought the interest in this thrillbilly prequel is likely due to the comely April Scott (in the demanding role of "Daisy").

But searches on direct-to-video titles aren't limited to laughable action flicks and laugh-free comedies. Disney is on a mission to destroy its own legacy. Exhibit A) "Cinderella: A Twist in Time." Exhibit B) "The Little Mermaid III." Exhibit C) "The Fox and the Hound 2." Not even the studio's less successful films are safe. We're not sure what's sadder—the fact that "Brother Bear 2" exists, or that people search for it.

So, what to do? Well, if you like crappy movies, it's a great time to be alive. If you're not into wasting your money, stear clear of any Slater film that isn't called "Heathers." Oh, and if you see "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs: Grumpy's Revenge" at the store, keep on walking.