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Starbucks Closings Cause Concern

By Mike Krumboltz
Tue, February 26, 2008, 11:30 am PST

Coffee lovers, the end is nigh! In a move that's sure to make caffeine junkies stoop to new levels of desperation and depravity, Starbucks will close every one of their stores for three hours this afternoon for "training purposes."

Queries on the company surged 26% and related searches on "starbucks closings" and "starbucks hours" posted venti sized gains. Clearly, the groggy and addicted are wondering where they'll score their afternoon fix. A look at the geographical breakdown indicates that folks on the East Coast are particularly worried: Philadelphia, New York, and Baltimore are among the most concerned cities.

Fortunately, it's not all gloom and doom for those cursed with the coffee vice. The good sports at Dunkin Donuts have announced a special 99 cent promotion while their rival closes its doors from 5:30 to 8:30 (local time). Expect searches on "where the hell is my nearest dunkin donuts" to soar at around 5:31.

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