Starbucks Closings Cause Concern
Coffee lovers, the end is nigh! In a move that's sure to make caffeine junkies stoop to new levels of desperation and depravity, Starbucks will close every one of their stores for three hours this afternoon for "training purposes."
Queries on the company surged 26% and related searches on "starbucks closings" and "starbucks hours" posted venti sized gains. Clearly, the groggy and addicted are wondering where they'll score their afternoon fix. A look at the geographical breakdown indicates that folks on the East Coast are particularly worried: Philadelphia, New York, and Baltimore are among the most concerned cities.
Fortunately, it's not all gloom and doom for those cursed with the coffee vice. The good sports at Dunkin Donuts have announced a special 99 cent promotion while their rival closes its doors from 5:30 to 8:30 (local time). Expect searches on "where the hell is my nearest dunkin donuts" to soar at around 5:31.
Filed under: Coffee
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comments
Posted by phloxie2000 | Tue, February 26, 2008, 5:08 pm PST
In my opinion how can three hours of training make a difference, but I don't spend my hard earned cash on overpriced fancy coffee , now if the internet was to go down for training for three hours then I would be concerned
Posted by theolagult | Wed, February 27, 2008, 7:32 am PST
WHO CARES TIM HORTON'S IS THE BEST ANYWAY!!
Posted by dyanna_marie_123 | Wed, February 27, 2008, 10:44 am PST
i think they should close them forever! when people pay more for coffee or just about the same as they do for gasolne, that is pretty pathetic!! I think, but only my oppinion!
Posted by nancyfoster | Fri, February 29, 2008, 3:11 pm PST
Meh, Starbucks coffee is overrated anyways (I do like their sandwiches, but 6 dollars for one is ridiculous). If the owners call themselves hippies, then how come they don't serve their coffee in washable dishes? Why generate garbage uselessly when most people that go there drink the coffee in the sofas at the store.
Stoopid.
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