the buzz log

While systemic financial malfeasance has put our nation in grave peril, it is beneficial to remember that we remain, as John Adams wrote, “a government of laws and not of men." Let's take a look: 

Item: From WJZ, Baltimore - The Baltimore County Health Department plans to fine Stan Dabowski for ignoring its warning not to hold pig mud wrestling matches at his farm. “There were clear cut examples where the pigs were being mistreated,” the Health Department said. Let's just hope no costumes were involved.

Item: The Daily Item, of Sunbury, PA reports that a judge offered to reduce an Ohio college student’s fine for playing loud rap music on his car stereo from $150 to $35 if the student would listen to classical music by Bach, Beethoven, and other great masters. A probation officer reported 24-year old Andrew Vactor lasted just 15 minutes before bailing on the music, opting to pay the full fine instead. We say next time, reduce the fine to $0 and make him listen to Yanni.

Item: In what some may consider an outrageous assault on the civil liberties of drivers, Chicago has banned texting while driving, The Chicago Sun-Times reports. Fines range from $75 to $200, hopefully more if you take the time to type an emoticon.

Item: Again from The Daily Item: A judge in Philadelphia slashed a lawyer’s request for $180,000 for his work on a winning civil rights suit to just $26,000 because of excessive errors and typos in his paperwork, the second time his fee’s been reduced for sloppiness. Attorney Brian Puricelli said he mistakenly filed an unedited copy and blamed the mistakes on spell-Czech. Check!

International item: Citizen Sugar informs us a UK mailman has been fined $200 for “snapping what the judge deemed an 'unchivalrous' photo of a woman. . . decorating the gutter outside of a bar.” At the behest of the woman's friends, the police charged the photographer with breach of the peace. No word yet whether any Lindsay Lohan paparazzi issued a brief for the defense.

Final item: A business column from the San Antonio Express-News warns us it’s illegal to lie on a mortgage application.

Oh, now they tell us.