the buzz log

This weekend's premieres in the Buzz Multiplex pose many what-ifs. "Friday the 13th" enacts brutal carnage against its box-office competitors, but perhaps cooperation rather than partisanship is what's needed these days.

What if...

•  ...instead of the mildly buzzing Jared Padalecki, Isla Fisher (most popular actor in a premiere) had taken on the new Jason Voorhees? Or at least taken him shopping for some retail therapy?
•  ...Jason relocated to a shopping mall, already crippled by a wounded economy? Lots of annoying teens there too. Bonus: Kevin "Mall Cop" James could sneak in a guest appearance.
•  ...Joaquin Phoenix, the second most popular actor thanks to his surreal Letterman appearance, had to choose between Freddy vs. Jason in "Two Lovers" (limited release). The twosome are the favorite Search face-off this week (Okay, the favorite after India vs. Sri Lanka in cricket and USA vs. Mexico in soccer, but you get the drift.)
•  ...Clive Owen borrowed Jason's tactics for "The International" and offed evil bankers one by one in horribly gruesome ways? (No, that's not in the stimulus plan.)

 

Much to chew on. Meanwhile, the three most sought-out movies this week:

1. "Friday the 13th" (R). Jason Vorhees is a pot farmer who really really hates trespassers. Someone tell Michael Phelps. Buzzing up in Search are polysyllabic-surnamed stars Padalecki (+15%), Amanda Righetti (+5%) and Danielle Panabaker (+70%), plus Derek Mears (+79%) as Vorhees.

2. "Confessions of a Shopaholic" (PG). Fisher's on her way to becoming America's sweetheart, in her starring vehicle as a coming-of-age ditzy shopper. Bringing up notice are co-stars Hugh Dancy and Krysten Ritter.

3. "The International" (R). Aiming to be the token smart thriller of the week, the movie offers equal-opportunity eye candy with Clive Owen and Naomi Watts.