the buzz log

Italian sports cars. They're sweet rides. But don't get in the driver's seat without your mechanic's number on speed dial. Well, somewhere in Colorado, a mechanic is weeping.

A frustrated owner of a cool but unreliable Maserati accepted $3,500 in U.S. taxpayer funds as part of the Cash for Clunkers program — after he couldn't sell the lemon himself. The wildly successful government-run program probably hadn't figured on an Italian sports car getting a bailout, but hey, that's a loophole we can appreciate.

Word of the Euro-car being trashed caused immediate Web searches on "maserati clunker." The Italian wheels were switched out for a used Subaru. That's the spirit. Who needs a car that screams mid-life crisis when you could be driving a station wagon.

For those of you in the market for a rare 1985 Biturbo — described by Weekly Driver as a pristine condition model with only 18,000 miles on it, tricked out with a leather, suede and wood interior — sorry, you're out of luck. Like all cars in the Cash for Clunkers program, this one will be headed to the junkyard and crushed. (You can see a video of the car before it meets its certain fate.)

Oh, by the way: We'll be bringing our Rolls Royce to trade in next week. Piece of junk.