the buzz log

Talk about your confluence of doomsday scenarios.

Today isn't merely Friday the 13th, bad enough for those who suffer paraskavedekatriaphobia. (That's fear of the day, versus triskaidekaphobia, which is a general fearful aversion of the number 13). It's also "2012"—as in opening day for the disaster movie.

A film from Roland Emmerich is enough to get anyone diving under folding velvet seats. The marketing campaign though has been feeding a Search frenzy for months into the so-called Mayan doomsday prediction, which supposedly puts 'cataclysmic event' on the calendar for 12/12/12. Lookups are agog over "12/12/2012," "will the world end in 2012," "what will happen in 2012," "mayan 2012 prediction," and—because this pessimist always has to get his nose into everything—"nostradamus 2012 prediction."

Those who know—from astronomy doctoral students to Mayan elders (and the Buzz Log for that matter)—have explained that the whole thing is a hoax. Let's review:

End of a Cycle, Not the World
Dec. 12, 2012 is basically the solstice, and time for Mayans to buy a new calendar. Remember 2000? (Or 1999, depending on how you define the end of a millennium). Dec. 31, 2000 marked the end of the millennia, per the Gregorian calendar. The world did not end. Instead, people bought 2001 calendars, and tried for the next 9 years to figure out what to call the decade.

Listen to your Mayan Elders
Many a Mayan elder has rolled his eyes up at the hysteria caused by a Western movie—and one that can't even get cultural details straight. An elder from Guatemala declared himself "fed up with this stuff." A medicine man from Pittsburgh, who's probably joining film critics in calling the thriller "hogwash," says people trying to profit off paranoia has been brandishing the Aztec calendar, instead of a Mayan one. Oops.

True, some have been going on talks about how Mother Earth has been mistreated, and how the "survivors of the year zero are children of the sun and fire." Those talks are mostly about changing up behavior to be more environmentally sensitive, and to make a new era better.

Running Out of Myths
But why the persistence? How about Monument Six, that ancient stone tablet talking up the Mayan god Bolon Yokte, who deals with war and creation? The stone's so badly eroded, it's tough to read all the inscription, but translations about him descending from the sky helped launch the frenzy. But other Mayan inscriptions look forward to dates in 4772. By then, people will probably have other things to worry about.

Also, some experts theorize that Westerners have run out of myths, and so are projecting their 21st century fears (climate change, swine flu, recession, you name it) by borrowing from others. The elders would really like people to return their mythology, just the way you found them.

Doomsday Capitalism
Then again, the facts shouldn't get in the way of making a quick buck. Bad science means a burgeoning industry on both sides, with skeptics and fearmongers writing books, selling T-shirts, and protective gear to prepare for the end of days. And with another two years to go, there's still time to cash in. Now that's scary.

Oh, as for Friday the 13th? Eh, you never know. Take the day off. 

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Filed under: Movies, Religion, Hoaxes, Superstition, Cultures, Prophecy

Filed under: Hoaxes, Lottery

A collective exhale ushered the volatile 2008 out the door this week, although one baby who caused a political storm managed to quietly slip himself out before the end. Meanwhile, a long-time Oprah hoax and high-seas piracy stirred up the Buzz—and the searches—during this transition period.

Mom, Do We Have to Do a Combo Celebration?
Bristol Palin's boy emerged not as the grandson of the first female vice president, but as another December baby who will have to insist that his birthday celebrations remain separate from Christmas. Searches soared for the aptly named Baby Tripp, as well as for his momma (+851%) and all his youthful uncles and aunts. Meanwhile, proud grandma Sarah Palin—already busy defending her future son-in-law Levi Johnston's degree aspirations—used the happy event to warn against teen pregnancy on the governor's website. The message include Bristol calling her newborn "perfectly precious," although the timing itself hadn't been "ideal."

Oprah, Who Can You Believe?
The dominoes finally fell this week after Herman Rosenblat, who had been telling a sweet little story about meeting his wife at the fence of Buchenwald concentration camp in Germany for a dozen years, recanted his story. After a New Republic article raised many questions, publisher Berkley Books (already fooled twice by other authors) canceled his forthcoming memoir, and another publisher offered refunds for "Angel Girl," a children's book inspired by Rosenblat's tale. His hoax had charmed Oprah (twice), who declared his story the "single greatest love story...we've ever told on the air." Hollywood, which always changes the truth anyway, is going ahead with a film project based on the well-meant but discredited tale.

Captain, What Do We Do with the Fertilizer?
Apparently, oil and fertilizer don't mix. Pirates worked on New Year's Day and attacked two crafts. The high-seas bandits got hold of an Egyptian cargo ship with about 6,000 tons of fertilizer, but lost an Indian tanker with a full load of crude oil. The pirates haven't done too well lately: Water jets thwarted armed brigands last Friday, while a December defense, described in this BBC interview, involved cocktail bombs made out of beer bottles. Imagine what could've been done with the fertilizer.

Also buzzing...
  • "Catcher in the Rye" author J.D. Salinger turned 90 on New Year's Day, but remained in hiding for the grand event.
  • Soon-to-be Secretary of State Hillary Clinton dropped a Waterford crystal ball on Times Square, accompanied by her husband Bill and Mayor Michael Bloomberg, to welcome in the new year.
  • "Deliverance," which made banjo music creepy for men, and "Terminator," which made Arnold Schwarzenegger creepy for everyone, counted among 25 films to be preserved forever at the National Film Registry. Cue "Dueling Banjos."

Filed under: Literature, Pirates, Hoaxes, Recaps, Babies, Week in Review, Wrap Up