the buzz log

Come Monday, the Gosselins of “Jon & Kate Plus 8” will make a "life-changing" announcement, conveniently timed during its one-hour TLC time slot.

The promised change is supposed to broker a "peace." Considering the couple spent their 10th anniversary on June 12 "150 miles apart," it sounds like time to cut bait. The Gosselin disintegration may have them among the top 25 searched people on Yahoo! in May, but a grumbling backlash makes us feel they've overstayed their welcome.

So, based on pure conjecture, hearsay, and irritation over the whole matter, here's 10 modest proposals on what the reality TV couple might just tell its benumbed viewers:

1. The Gosselins will try one more time, and adopt Nadya "Octomom" Suleman’s brood.
2. Kate's changing her hairstyle from reverse mullet to 145-degree-off-kilter mullet.
3. The children will be starring in a musical version of “Lord of the Flies.” 
4. Kate will get her tubes tied. Jon will put a finger down so the ribbon’s tight.
5. With the crossover success of “American Chopper,” Jon will try “Wife Swap,” then renege on the return policy.
6. Inspired by the pregnant man, Jon is going to go for it.
7. Kate will revive that 2001 trend, the Surrendered Wife.
8. The Gosselins enters the Octagon to face fellow TLC stars of “Little People.” Game on.
9. Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt plans to adopt the entire family, mom and dad included. Their buyout offer was better than Madonna’s.
10. They’re upgrading from TLC to HBO. Two words: “Big Love.”

Filed under: TV, Reality TV, Rumors, Gossip

"The A-Team" is putting a plan together: For a movie. Word is that Liam Neeson is in talks with 20th-Century Fox to head the cast as Col. John "Hannibal" Smith. "The Hangover's" Bradley Cooper is being tapped to play Lt. Templeton "Faceman" Peck.

The TV show aired for five seasons in the 1980s, and told the story of a crack fighting force out of Vietnam, wrongly convicted for a crime they didn't commit. The men escape prison, and survive as underground heroes for hire, able to construct weapons from spare parts in cartoon-like violence that left almost zero body count. The show featured cameos from Hulk Hogan and Boy George, which added to its campy appeal and established its cultural icon status long after it went off the air.

The movie, which is scheduled to go into production in August for a 2010 summer relase, will keep the show's original premise. But the tone will be closer to "Mission Impossible" or "Ocean's Eleven," according to Variety.

Hmmm, we can only imagine how that would look. No catch phrases? The "A-Team" van is an eco-friendly hybrid? That's fine, as long as stuff still gets blown up. But the real question is, who will play "B.A." Baracus, Mr. T's role? So far, nobody's talking.

Filed under: TV, Movies, Mr. T

As people look for the reason behind David Carradine's death by hanging, his ending is at odds with iconic TV image he created as Kwai Chang Caine in the 1972 series, "Kung Fu."

Whether he shunted aside Bruce Lee for the role as the biracial Shaolin monk wandering late 19th-century America is subject to debate. (According to his widow's biography, Lee had pitched the concept. The TV producers said it was a different pitch to tap into the hugely popular underground indies and Hong Kong martial arts movies.)

Regardless, Carradine got the role, and he became identified with Caine his entire career. The peacenik character, in search of a long-lost brother, was different than the '70s big-screen action heroes, quick to shoot punks and not prone to introspection.

Carradine's monk basically revamped the old cinematic Western frontier hero with modern touches: His "half-breed" (half Chinese, half white) background touched on the race issues, his Buddhism hit the Eastern spiritual craze, and the kung fu was downright exotic... although he didn't use his deadly skills unless he absolutely had to, which was pretty much every episode.

The show only lasted three years on ABC, but introduced a television audience to a new religion, fighting system, Chinese culture, and classic TV moments. Cue the intro: Young Caine has to walk on rice paper, and when Grasshopper (as his master Po called him) showed he could walk without leaving an imprint, he was ready to face the world.

As to why Grasshopper, the nickname came when his blind master asked what Caine could hear with his eyes closed. Courtesy of Wikipedia:

Master Po: Do you hear the grasshopper?
Caine: Old man, who is it that you hear these things?
Po: Young man, how is it that you do not?

Filed under: TV, Celebrities, Martial Arts, Death